EvE: Paranoia

So my Black Frog shipment arrived. I fit up my Retribution and got Aliak to allow me to test out the fit. Yeah, that didnt happen. Upon undocking, I saw a Vengeance on scan. "AWESOME!" I say to myself. I know his tank will be tanky and my dps will be good enough to either break it or not. I also know thermal and em are the weak resists to the Veng, cuz Im smart like that!

I warp to my sun safe, hoping he will follow me to the sun. A few moments pass and he does arrive at the sun. I notice his speed and distance decreasing. He's coming for me! Well, knowing I need to be about 20km away on landing to set keep at range to allow transversal to be minimized, I warp to 20km from the sun. I think this will put me directly behind him, due to him flying towards me. Yeah that didnt happen either.

I landed 8-9km from my target, unable to turn and run away before he locked and scrammed me. Closing range as I knew he would, I was stuck at 3km or so the entire fight. My tank held out pretty good but it wasnt until I was at 50% armor that I remembered I should switch to Multi Freq. crystals instead of scorch. By this time, he was at 50% also. Switching, I got him down to about 10% armor. He was repping though, slowly, but enough to cancel out my buffer. My ship soon exploded. As this was not technically a 1v1, I was already fleeted with Aliak when I undocked prior to this fight. Aliak was special in the head or something with his dscan as well as chat channels, so when I called point in corp chat, he didnt see it, warping around trying to get the enemy on dscan. I guess he didnt see the vengeance, so assumed it warped away, while waiting for me to call point in fleet. My mistake on the miscommunications. Eventually, (right as my ship exploded actually), Aliak landed on grid and finished off the enemy

A little while later, I was goaded into a fight with a hawk. Knowing my ship, I will most likely lose this fight. A few more taunts later by this person and I said fuck it and went for it, dropping fleet that had my alt PI char and Aliak in it. After some complications, I eventually joined fleet with my opponent for a 1v1. Heading to a safe, I let him know he can warp to me. Having my mwd going so I can get a long range to start the fight. I want to be able to zoom into scram range to cancel out his mwd if he has one, to prevent the possible 15km rocket range. He landed at 70km. Yay, so far, so good!

I zoom into range and all is going well. He had me targeted (auto-retarget perhaps?) but he dropped fleet. This to me was breaking the 1v1, and I called in Aliak, trying desperately to inv to fleet. Apparently he hadnt left the other fleet with my alt yet. Found this out after the fight. Well shyt. In this whole calling for help thing, I had my repper and launchers OHd. I noticed at nearly the last second that my launchers were almost deaded. I clicked those off then moved to click off the repper. At that exact moment, the module greyed out. OH SHYT! I JUST BURNT OUT MY REPPER! I then say to myself, "Self, you are a retard. That is all." Slowly, my armor is diminished and my ship explodes, with Aliak landing 400km away at the belt where my combat safe is at.

Analysis
Many, many things went wrong tonight that normally should not have. Switching crystals from long range to close range would have won me that Vengeance fight solo. Paying more attention to my modules instead of the enemy leaving fleet (due to not seeing me on his overview I guess...fail overview settings!!!), because I thought he refleeted and was bring in friends to whore on my shiny lossmail. That didnt happen, so obviously he refleeted with an alt booster. Nope, that didnt happen either. Just entirely due to fail overview settings of not having fleet members on it.

So, lessons learned tonight: Relearned instant reload with crystals. Make use of it! Dont commit to single ammo like preloading the best likely ammo with the Vengeance. Dont assume 1v1 dishonor just because of fleet droppage. Had I paid more attention, I would not have burnt out my repper. At one or two points, I was able to warp out as well, I noticed this each time it happened. But I did not take the advantage of it like I should have done due to typing in corp channel. I should have remained focused. The stupid combat rush took over due to the adrenaline again. Fuck that feeling is good, but it makes me die. I dont like dieing. I dont like losing. So fuck this feeling and having it often.

I have a supply of punishers that I need to buy fittings for still, but Im done flying bling ships for awhile until the rust comes off. Darkfall is an awesome game, but I prefer EvE. Darkfall has caused my spaceship skills to fail me, and I refuse to let this evening ruin my good god damned time in space!

EvE makes you paranoid of everything.