Wednesday, October 5, 2011

OOC:Life Sucks Sometimes

Sorry to my corp, my activity has not been at an acceptable level when I said it would be. Explanation below. Real life, personal stuff here, so if you are looking for EVE related post, this aint it.

I had an awesome birthday weekend, which I let a few know that I wouldnt be available during this time. My family is awesome and my other half made a great cake. Got some cash to go to Best Buy and splurge, used some to pay the electric bill, and had an overall great dinner at Olive Garden (My favorite place)

As all things do, the good times came to an end abruptly. One of my cousins who I was pretty close to, passed away. Ill never get to see him again and its hitting me kinda hard. Ive lost family before, but that was when I was younger and didnt really understand it at the moment it happened. So time went on and I learned and dealt with it. This loss is rough.

I normally keep these kind of things to myself (not even with my g/f), but I wanted to try sharing it out on my blog. I dont have a journal or diary and I dont really feel like making an entirely new blog or notepad to write it out for one post. So you just gotta deal with it if you are reading my blog. =P

I wont go into the details on how he died, but he committed suicide. The side of him I knew; he was a cool guy. He had a ton of friends, everyone liked him. That statement has to be pretty damn close to fact as I never met a person who said a bad thing about him. When people pass on in this way, with this many people who care about and love them, it makes me wonder "Why?"

"Why did he feel the need to do this?" I ask myself multiple times daily. He has an awesome son, only a few months younger than my son even. He has an extremely massive (100+ppl), close and caring family who he could have turned to at any moment and said "I need help." And without question, every single person would have been there in an instant. So why?

Everyone has their demons, everyone has their own issues to deal with; but was it really that bad that there was only one way out of it all? Like I said, when people die this way, you ask why. Well, they're not here anymore to answer that question. Not even the people closer to him than I was can answer that question; they were blindsided by this news also when the Sheriff showed up at their door with this terrible announcement.

So this happened, went to the funeral. Was a nice ceremony, but Id give just about anything for him to be back with us. I hope he found the peace in death he was not able to get in life. And so I just havent been in the mood or spirits for blowing up ships in space.

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